WebKittyn Warbles
Monday, August 18, 2008
BIG Kidney News and Lots of Changes in My Life
What a progression of events that past 9 months have been. I've been through so much it's sometimes hard to comprehend. How quickly life can change, I mean seriously change. It's changed me in so many ways. Now it's all changing again and I'm almost afraid to sit back and let the good happen. I know in my heart I deserve a little bit of good after everything but I've become jaded. It's only just starting to turn and already I'm waiting for the boulder to come out of the sky and fall on my head.
Change One: My dad came home on the 12th. The man they said would never eat on his own, never be off the ventilator. The man they told me mother to make funeral arrangements for is home now with no ventilator, no feeding tube and he's even walking without the walker. He left on November 23rd, it's been a long time coming.
Change Two: I want to the kidney doctor today. I have to go to dialysis tomorrow and Saturday but then he's taking me OFF DIALYSIS FOR EIGHT WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My levels are good enough to give it a shot. I'll have to go for weekly blood tests but that's cake after everything else. At the end of the eight weeks he'll either take me off forever or put me on an 'expedited transplant list' because of my age and get me a new kidney within a year. I'm willing to do that but hopefully it won't go that route. In any case, I have eight weeks to have spontaneity back in my life. Eight weeks to be able to live and not puke every day. Eight weeks of not being filtered like iced tea.
Change Three: Follows two. When I go back to the kidney man on September 5th if my first blood levels are good I get the referral to have the catheter removed from my chest. Forever. I've had one shower since March 11th. One. No more sponge baths and shallow tubs. I can SWIM again. I can sweat again without having to worry about serious blood infections.
Change Four: A car is coming. Nothing new but I thought I'd be saving forever and looking for something in the $3000 range. This has recently been upped to the $8000 range which opens up a whole new world of Chevy Trackers. I still have to pay it back but I'd be paying double payments on my mother's credit card instead of overjacked interest from a car place.
Change Five: I'm going back to school for phlebotomy training in January. I couldn't get it together for Fall registration but I'm definitely in for January (providing I'm not prepping for a new kidney). It's only a year if you go full-time and the world needs more good phlebotomists who actually give a damn about people.
I realised today how very lucky I truly am. I had a rare moment of total clarity where it hit me how lucky I am. I skated around death, I was lucky enough to go into seizure when someone was there. I did not stroke out with the 300/290 blood pressure. I'm going to be part of a very small minority who actually gets off dialysis, a tiny minority diagnosed with "endstage renal disease" who actually beats it. My father is alive and doing well.
I have a true second chance. For years I talked talked talked about not liking my life and wanting to go to a new place where I don't know anyone and starting over but I never did it. Now I'm here, up in the middle of a whole new world. Woodstock is only half an hour away, I've got Bard College and all sorts of hokey local stuff. This is my second chance. This is my do-over. How many people are unhappy and never get that shot to walk away and start over?
Not that it's all peaches and pastries. I have to watch what I eat really carefully once I'm off dialysis and I have to accept the fact that this might not work and I might end up with a transplant and three kidneys.
I do know I'm going to make the most out of the next eight weeks. I'm going back to Dobbs to pack the rest of my shit, see friends I love dearly that I ignored for too long, sit by the river and reflect on the past nine months and all that's happened and what it's made me.
The tides have changes and now flow in my favour. I thank the Lady Fate, karma and whatever God or Goddess might be out there looking after dumbasses with kidney disease. I get it. I have no intention of blowing this second chance.
Hello. My name is Heatherlyn and damn it, I beat kidney failure. At least for now.
"now that my life
is so pre-arranged,
I know that it's time
for a cool change.."
-
Mazel Tov!
I am so incredibly happy for you and proud of you and the direction in which you are taking your life. I always knew you could make it!
I am just so proud, it is like watching a kitten catch its first prey. Tears in my eyes!
L’chayyim!
May Hashem bless you and keep you…
Bobby on 08/18 at 07:36 PM -
Your dad is home! You’re coming off dialysis! Best post ever!!! :D I’m so psyched for you, hon, that is just fabulous news all around.
Kel on 08/18 at 09:29 PM -
Holy cheese and crackers! I have been gone for too long! I am soooooo glad to here about your dad everytime i’m at the temple I but him on the prayer list. I think I might need to add you. lol
Take it easy girl, the web and the world needs you!katkat on 08/18 at 10:20 PM -
I am so glad to hear that you’re doing better and that your dad is doing better!! Congrats on the car “upgrade”, I know that’s got to be exciting for you.
And I am so proud of you for going back to school!!!!!!
Nicki on 08/19 at 01:36 PM -
Awesome news! <3
on 08/19 at 08:58 PM -
That’s some great news! So glad to hear things are looking better for you
Andrea on 08/21 at 06:14 AM
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<-- Steal me!
