WebKittyn Warbles
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Birthdays Now and Then
When I was younger, starting around 12, we would go out every year for my birthday. It was my dad's idea. I would get to pick wherever I wanted to go and we would take 5 or so of my friends and go out to eat. We did all the big names in NYC; Russian Tea Room, Windows on the World, Tavern on the Green, Mama Leone's, Old Homestead Steakhouse, all of them. Trader Vic's was the one I loved the most and asked to go back to a few years in a row. Those were really happy times.
Last year I spent my birthday in a hospital bed with a catheter in my chest and a room full of balloons. I thought it was as bad as it gets. I was wrong.
Tomorrow night we'll be going out to dinner for my birthday, my first birthday and birthday dinner without my dad. I wish it was any other day but my birthday, I have never felt more un-birthday. It amplifies the sadness and the emptiness and the loss a thousand times.
A few people have really gone above and beyond to try and help me this birthday, you know who you are. It's amazing how something as simple as a card can really bring a smile. Thank you. As soon as I make it past tomorrow I'll do my personal thanking, it's just hard enough as it is to keep it together for my mother and my stupid birthday.
I would go back to the hospital birthday in a second if these things were possible.
I really miss my dad.
Fuck it, at least there will be cake. Give me a fork and some milk and let me have at it.
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I will say with deepest affection, may peace find you on the anniversary of your birth during these troubled times in your life. My heart and thoughts are with you.
Mare Martell Stotler on 03/18 at 11:34 PM -
Sorry Im not as poetic as Mare and hell lets face it… I’m a guy… so my train of though goes to… So what kind of cake did you have? Let me guess… Red Velvet with a Cream Cheese Icing… Am I right? What did I win?
on 03/21 at 01:16 AM -
I wish I could hug you in person.I am so very sorry for your loss. (hug)
Katkat on 03/23 at 08:26 PM
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<-- Steal me!
