Friday, June 08, 2007

Get Off Your High Horse

Dear Condescending Asshat,

At this time I would like to invite you to climb down from your high horse and to please remove that smug and holier-than-thou stick from your ass.

Yes you stupid shithead, I am a smoker. I will always be a smoker. Tell me something I don't know.

If it's a superhero you're looking for then go see Spiderman 3 again. I am a smoker and I am a human and you know what? Sometimes I'm weak.

*GASP*

Get over it and get over yourself. Make it 120 days and then come talk to me.

I am not back to old habits. For the past two weeks I've been weak and yes, I had a mild relapse. Slight. I didn't go back to my brand and the 2 pack a day habit I quit. I've got the lightest cigarettes out there (Capri, they're a joke) and I smoke 2 a day. 2. 2 capris.

That does not give you the right to look down your nose at me and say in that condescending tone "so you're a smoker again" and "1 leads to 2, 2 leads to 4, 4 leads to 8" like you're some goddamn expert.

You're also wrong. I know exactly what's up with me. I have no physical cravings, these are mental ones and I get this.. Lots of adjusting and stuff going on in my life and although a good bit of it is positive, I've been dealing with the bad with my 2 cigs a day.

Fucking shoot me now, okay? Would that make you happy? Shoot me and bury me in a bed of Parliaments.

I don't like that I'm doing it, even without you adding your superiority. I understand there was a time I would have been tickled pink with only 2 pseudo cigs a day but I would rather it was none.

The patch isn't cheap. Now that I can, I'll get another box of step 3 and do it for the 2 weeks. It's 2 a day because sometimes I'm weak. Get over it, I know I will.

There are a lot of people who don't even make it 120 days and they go right back to the usual brand and the pack a day or more habit. I'm actually proud that if I had to relapse it was like this.

You haven't done it, don't opine.

I don't look to my friends to be judged and talked down to like I'm a failure. No one ever heard me say I'd be able to do it 100% the first time, I didn't think I'd even go 50+ days after the last patch and the fact that I know why I'm doing it and look forward to ending it counts for a lot. This is a minor relapse and I don't need to be treated like some incurable heroin fiend by someone whose job it is to show support.

Wonder Woman doesn't live here. Just a simple human who is sometimes weak and looks to crutches to help sort things out. Shall we stone her to death now?

Hey asshat?

Piss off.

Thank you.

-kittyn

1. Hey Kittyn, sorry anyone is giving you crap about relapse. I feel your pain, I went two weeks, well short of your 100+ days. Don’t listen to detractors. You’ll quit when you’re ready.
   And 2 Capris, jeez that’s like 1 regular cigarete.

   Take care
   Joe
   The Bear

   The Bear  on  06/08  at  04:32 PM

2. Damn ....some people need to be more supportive...and less like tards :(

   Andrea  on  06/09  at  09:09 PM

3. Hi Kittyn!

   120 days is huge. Most people can’t go 24 hours. I don’t know who among your friends feels they can sit in judgment, but you’re absolutely right in calling them on their shit. Quitting smoking is HARD. At almost 15 months of being smoke free, there is rarely a day that goes by when I don’t think about smoking. My favorite rationalization? “Writers are supposed to smoke.” The funny part is that I’ll start to believe my own BS. Don’t worry about it - quitting is a process and sometimes takes practice. I know, I’ve quit many times. Mark Twain said, “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

   You’re in good company, don’t let the bastards get to you.

   Mike

   mr. althouse  on  06/10  at  09:51 AM
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